Halcyon
by tigerlily536
Summary: Emma and Hook are sent to Neverland when trying to save Henry from a Portal. While there, Emma despairs over the possibility of not finding Henry in the strange world, and not getting back to her world.


**(cover image by captaincalahaan on tumblr)**

**title from Ellie Goulding's album/song Halcyon**

Emma estimated it had been a little more than a week since they arrived in Neverland. Time was so hard to judge here, the days slipped by like a stream, continuous and indistinctive. After spending the first few days desperate to find a way back to her world, she had given up for the moment, and now took to spend her days on the _Jolly Roger_ staring into space.

She had even managed to jump ship when Hook wasn't paying attention and swim to shore. Braving the waves just to be alone with her thoughts and her torment of being torn away from her family and thrust into this insane world that she had always believed was purely fictional. It had taken a few hours before Hook had finally caught up with her wandering through the impossibly green foliage. He dragged her back to his ship, stating she wasn't safe wandering through Neverland alone. She hadn't put up much of a fight, still lost in her thoughts, and only came to her senses when she was finally back on the deck.

Emma looked down at her clothes, realizing how worn and filthy they were. Dirt decorated her shirt and jeans, mud coated onto her boots, and there were even a few tears and scratches on her leather coat from the swift branches she hadn't tried to avoid. And everything was caked with dried salt from the sea.

"Honestly, Swan. You can't just go off by yourself like that. You don't know what dangers are out there, love," Hook reprimanded, climbing onto the ship behind her.

She ignored his words, "You wouldn't happen to have some spare clothes I could wear? I don't think these will hold up for much longer."

She looked up at him and saw a strange expression on his face. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were hard. He merely nodded and stepped down the stairs leading below deck. Emma followed him wordlessly till they reached a door deep within the ship. Hook withdrew a key from his pocket and unlocked the door. Emma's jaw dropped when she stepped inside. The floor was covered with glittering jewels, gold, and silver pouring out of chests.

"Treasure room?" Emma asked, almost laughing. She should have known, pirate and all, of course he had treasure.

"You'll find whatever you'll need in the chest over there," Hook motioned to a large and exquisite looking chest and swept swiftly from the room.

Emma frowned, sensing Hook was acting very strangely. She moved to the chest and knelt to crack it open. The chest was brimming with clothes of magnificent patterns. Emma pulled a piece lightly out of chest. It was definitely made for a woman, and Emma knew instantly the reason for Hook's behavior, and whose clothes these were. Milah. Emma felt a little strange wearing the clothes of Hook's dead love, and now that she thought about it, Henry's grandmother. But she couldn't wear her own clothes anymore, so she pushed the confusing thoughts to the back of her mind and searched through the box.

She found a plain, white, linen shirt with a high collar, and deep 'V' that she wore under a blue vest with intricate gold accents and laces up the front. She wore black leather pants and a pair of boots slightly too large for her that went to above her knees. Lastly, she found a long, black leather coat, similar to Hook's, and switched out her trusty, red leather jacket. She placed her own clothes into the chest and shut it. She looked down at herself and thought briefly she looked like she was playing dress up.

She found Hook in his cabin, reading a book of all things. She stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, watching him. He had not noticed her presence, and only when Emma couldn't hold in a snort of laughter at the ridiculous scene, did he look up. Something akin to shock or surprise swept across his face. Emma felt a flush bloom on her cheeks as she watched his eyes scan her up and down. She glared at him and crossed her arms.

"You're staring," she said.

It was astonishing how quickly his usual, snarky smirk appeared on his face. "I told you, you'd make a hell of a pirate."

"I didn't take you for a man of literature," Emma said, moving inside the cabin and sitting in one of the chairs by the orate desk.

"There are many things you don't know about me, darling," Hook grinned, shutting the book.

"_Paradise Lost_ by Milton. Hm." Emma said, slightly impressed.

"Not my first read through. Being on Neverland for 300 years does limit the reading material and one's got to make due."

"Ah," was all Emma said. She drew her legs up into the chair and hugged them, resting her chin on her knees. She felt the silence pressing in on her. The thoughts of home and she wanted to break the quiet, but didn't know what to say.

"Are you going to tell me why you abandoned ship today, love?" Hook asked, leaning back in his chair. His terribly blue eyes pierced her so intensely that she had to look away.

"No." Emma didn't want to think about the world they were forced to leave behind any longer. She didn't want to say how much it killed her to be ripped away from her family and thrust into strange land with a pirate she was still wary of trusting. He was the only company she had and her walls were firmly in place, no way was she going to let him get through.

"Tell me about the things that are 'oh so dangerous' out there, that I need to be wary for," she said, pointedly changing the subject. Hook eyed her suspiciously, before looking down and smiling with exasperation.

"Well, there are the Indians, not usually a hostile people, but would not take well to an unfamiliar blonde woman in strange clothes wandering into their territory. There's the mermaids, luckily they didn't get you when you swam to shore. They would have drowned you for sure. The various wild beasts that roam the forests, and of course the crocodile."

"The crocodile? So there's a real one?" Emma asked incredulously.

"Yes, there is in fact a real, monstrous crocodile. It's not just my epithet for Rumplestiltskin."

"Does it tick?" Emma tried to hide her excitement.

Hook gave her a puzzled look, "Tick?"

"Like a clock?" Emma encouraged.

"Why on Earth would it do that, love?"

Emma looked down at her intertwined hands and mumbled, "It was in the story, but I guess logically, it wouldn't make sense."

"I think you've found that real life is not as wonderful as they are in the stories, darling," Hook replied with a small smile.

Emma bit her lip, not wanting to voice the opinion on how much more wonderful the stories were compared to how her life was turning out to be.

"What's your favorite part about Neverland?" She asked, looking up at him.

Hook glanced at the small clock on the desk before turned and looking out the window. Emma was startled to find that it was dark outside. It had been light an hour ago. Damn the time here.

"Come with me," Hook said, moving around the desk to hold his hand out to her. Emma warily put her hand in his, and ignored the warm tingling that shot from her palm to her chest.

Hook led her back up to the deck and to the railing. The earlier choppiness of the sea was gone, and the water looked like glass. More stars than she ever remembered seeing in her life burned pinpricks into the navy canvas of the sky. The stars mirrored in the water so it seemed like the ship was not sailing on the sea, but in the sky.

"Wow," was all she could sum up of the breathtaking view.

"That's not what I was wanting to show you," Hook said, grinning. "Watch."

Emma leaned her forearms onto the railing and looked out to the distant banks of the island and the faint outline of trees. Slowly, tiny golden lights started to appear within the leaves, twirling and swaying with one another. They rose into the sky, and suddenly there were as many as the stars, dancing among one another.

She turned to Hook, mouth open in amazement, "Are those-?"

"Fairies?" Hook said, and the same smile Emma saw briefly on the beanstalk, spread across his face. It was genuine, and it took Emma's breath away more than the stars or the fairies.

She tried to recover from her momentary speechlessness and said, "Can I confess something?"

"Sounds serious," Hook mocked a frown. "Should I be concerned?"

"No," Emma rolled her eyes. "When I was a child, I read all the fairytales and typical books for children. But my absolute favorite was Peter Pan. As an orphan stuck in the foster system with no real home all my life, I always dreamed of flying away to Neverland where all the lost children without families could go and never having to worry about being alone again."

Emma had been looking out at the fairies while she said this, but now turned to Hook. He was watching her intently, and silently, mirroring her posture with his body facing the sea with hook and hand placed on the railing.

"But what I most wanted was not to be a Lost Child. What I wanted was to be one of the pirates. I wanted to be one of the crew of Captain James Hook and sail away and have adventures. I wanted to be in Neverland where I wouldn't be alone, but I didn't want to remain a child forever, and never learn true love and happiness one only finds when they grow up. And the truth is, even though I hate being here away from my family, not knowing if I'll ever see them again, there's a part of me that finds it so surreal that I'm in the place I'd always dreamed of escaping to."

Hook's eyes were fixed, unblinking on Emma's and suddenly she felt like he was staring straight through her walls as if they weren't even there. She felt utterly vulnerable. She sucked in a breath and looked away from him. She saw their two arms on the railing of the ship, the hairs on their forearms barely brushing and pinkies a centimeter apart. Hook imperceptibly moved his hand so his fingers trailed lightly over the back of Emma's hand. She closed her eyes and let out a tiny sigh, relishing the feeling of his hand on her and the little sparks igniting in her stomach. But only for a moment, then she dropped her arm to her side and moved away from him.

"Emma," Hook said, his voice was so soft she barely heard it. He had followed her and was only a foot away.

"Can I confess something as well?" he asked. Emma merely nodded her head,

"I was terrified when I found out you were gone earlier. That you had left me behind again, and that I might once again lose someone that I care for."

Emma thought it was infinitely unfair how blue his eyes were, and how they were a riptide, pulling her under the surface and dragging her out to sea.

"I spent over 300 years alone; I don't think I could survive if it happened to me again." Was it her imagination, or were Hook's eyes suddenly an inch from hers?

"Hook..." Emma said, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

"That's not my name, darling." Emma felt his breath ghost across her face, and she couldn't stop herself glancing at the lips a centimeter from her own. She leaned closer, and looked back up into his azure eyes. Her hand slid to his chest, and he placed his hand on her waist, finger pressing against her back. She closed her eye just as their slightly parted mouths brushed.

"Killian," she breathed, and opened her eyes to his. In them she saw the broken man she had glimpsed briefly on the beanstalk and in the hospital. A man so dedicated to love that he spent eternity to fulfilling his vengeance that he ended up losing himself along the way. One of her hands slid up his neck to cup his face. Hoo-Killian sighed and leaned into her touch.

"Emma," he whispered, face lighting up and a dazzling smile spread across his face. She felt her own mouth turn up and a breathy laugh burst from her. She leaned into him again and pressed her lips to his.

It was instantaneous. They felt the burst flow through them but couldn't find the care to separate to wonder what it was. Emma knew what it was and she felt it she pulled away from him she may just leave a part of her being. She moved from his lips to his jaw and up to his ear where she whispered his name again. Killian shuddered and his fingers gripped her waist tightly, pulling her closer. Their mouths found each other again, tongues battling, and teeth occasionally scraping lips.

She pulled back for air, and a smiled. Killian lean forward, pressing their foreheads together, and their noses brushed.

Emma whispered his name over and over, pressing light kisses along his face with each naming. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her luscious, golden hair. She pulled him in even tighter, needing to feel the solid realness of him. The shape of their bodies fit together perfectly, like yin and yang, darkness and light. They breathed deeply, matching breath for breath, as calm and as still as the starlit water around them.


End file.
